This question has been asked so many times by so many people and the answer is always different. Whitney Houston said you go back “to the open arms of a love that’s waiting there.” Ummmh, I don’t know about that. I remember coming out of a relationship and I couldn’t eat, sleep or even think straight. I wondered why all the pain if love wasn’t supposed to hurt. I did all the right things or so I thought. Even in the darkest hour when your spirit is wounded and you feel that your heart will surely bust, there is still hope. My mother in law always told me that the darkest hour is just before day in the morning. Meaning that the sun will shine again and our heart will soar like an eagle because true love and happiness is not just a myth but a reality.

The next time we plunge into a relationship if we learned anything from the pain of the previous one, we’ll be more attentive and not dismiss signs that may be telling us something important. Maybe we’ve learned to wait and let love find us. My grandmother used to always say. “If you go looking for something you’ll find it and most of the time, it won’t be to your liking.”
Enjoy your life with yourself. Learn how to focus on your. Learn how to love yourself. When you development the confidence you need for you, other people will be drawn to you like a magnet. Please don’t let one bad relationship keep you from finding happiness in someone else. Now, before you go and say Eve, I don’t need a man to make to happy, I have myself. A man is not put in your life to make you happy. You make you happy. That man is only an enhancement to what’s already there. So if you’ve had your heart broken, and is trying to move on. Start doing some things with yourself. Get to know you better. What do you like? Try new things and you may discover some amazing things. Go to movies by yourself or with a friend. Don’t plunge into a new relationship so soon. Give yourself time to mend and breathe. It takes time to get rid of all that old baggage, time to mend that broken heart.

First of all, I am not a licensed counselor or Psychiatrist. I am only sharing with you what I have learned from my lessons and observations in life. If there is something that I say that you can use, use it. If not, discard it and let it be.

I wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields but you refused to be a dandelion.
I wanted to be like a robin singing amongst the leaves of the trees but you refused to be my tree
I spun myself into a web and looked for a place of rest but you refused to be my corner but instead chose to stand straight.
I tried to be a book but you wouldn’t read so I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth
Finally, I decided to become a woman and you refused to be a man. That okay because I’m still going to become a woman even though you will not become a man.

What does this mean to me?

“She wanted to be a blade of grass and wanted him to be a dandelion,” suggest that she wanted to have freedom but she also wanted to be his support system. Grass grows along side of flowers but they don’t crowd the flowers out but allows room for growth.
“She wanted to be a robin singing though the leaves in a tree, but he refused to be her tree.” suggests that she would like for her man to be her resting place after a long day’s work or journey. Just as a bird who has traveled a far distance and sometimes from one place to another rests upon a tree before continuing on.

“She spun herself into a web looking for a place of peace but instead of being her corner, he stood straight.” Here the woman is in trouble or facing everyday problems or burdens of life and she looks to her man as a confidant but instead he turns away.

“She wanted to be a book but he wouldn’t read her then I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth.” She tries to let him know how she feels but he refuses to make the effort to understand. She then humbles herself to him but he still denies her.

Finally, she is tired of trying and wanting so she becomes a woman and doesn’t care if he becomes a man because she is tired of him making no effort to make her happy and she realizes that it is time that she made the effort to make herself happy.

Advice on Living

Sometimes life seems so complicated and lot of times it is. But for the most part, the decisions that we make or don’t make can help or intensify those complications. I have this unique personality that pushes me to explain almost everything that I say to others and I have them do the same to me.

A former co worker told me. “Everything don’t need to be explained. There are some things an intelligent person can figure out.”

I agree that there are a lot of things we can figure out but will they be accurate? I feel that when we assume too much then that’s when the trouble starts because to me assumptions are simply another form of miscommunication.

I think the best example I can think of is two people starting a relationship. When a woman is dating a man and she feels those butterflies in her stomach. He holds her hand tight and fondles her palm while they walk in the park. After that dinner date, he kisses her with so much passion until she feels her heart will stop. Do she automatically conclude that this man has some deep feeling for her? Most women would. But would that assumption be true? Think about it! In some cases maybe but not in all. Then how do you figure out if he cares? Some would simple ask and hope that he’s honest. Others women may take the relationship through a series of test and measure his response to those test as the answer.

Some Psychologist would say, “Just ask him. It’s your right to know what his intentions are.”

Sounds simple. I don’t care how simple something is, people just don’t always think to do it the way we think it should be done. Everyone is unique in their own way. I personally would ask the gentleman and watch the reaction in his facial expression. I would then do a follow up based on this along with his actions in other areas. But I know from experience that this doesn’t always work either. Women love and feel with their hearts while men are visual and connects love by the way a woman makes them feel through sexual intimacy. There are a few exceptions to the rule but…….I’ll leave it at this.

Okay, let’s go to the male side. Almost every man that I’ve ever talked to says that women are hard to understand and are unpredictable. “Women don’t know what they want and it leaves a man confused.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this statement, I’d be RICH!
Now what is really going on here? What the problem? Why can’t two adults get it together? Communication! Someone is taking and someone is not listening. Or someone is talking and someone thinks they understand and don’t ask questions.

Remember author, John Gray “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?” This book was a bestseller for a reason. John Gray understood that men and women makeup were so different, thereby causing a failure in communication. A Woman’s mind just don’t operate like a man’s and vice versa.

Women want men to know what they need. We don’t always want to tell them. We want them to think of those special things that put a smile on our face and remember what’s important to us. Telling them to do it takes the joy out of it! Men wish we would just tell them what we want and need and stop the guessing games.

Want to avoid confusion?” Ask questions, listen, and pay attention. Never assume anything because it’s dangerous and leaves the door wide open for a “Ball of Confusion.”

Below are books that I feel every writer should have on their shelves. Believe me, my list is longer but I’ll stop with these.
The Marshall Plan for NOVEL WRITING by Evan Marshall (This is great for beginners)

Techniques of The Selling Writer By Dwight V. Swain

Creating Characters (How to Build Story People) by Dwight V. Swain

The Complete Writer’s Guide to HEROES & HEROINES (Sixteen Master Archetypes) by Tami D, Cowden, Caro LaFever, Sue Viders

The Career Novelist by Donald Maass

The WRITER’S JOURNEY by Christopher Vogler

Mastering Point of View by Sherri Szeman AND/OR Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card

Finding your VOICE by Les Edgerton

Writing Dialogue by Tom Chiarella

GMC by Debra Dixon

Roget’s Thesaurus (the latest editions)

Hello Fellow Bloggers and Readers, I’m Eve Alexander, author and editorial consultant. As you can tell by the title of my blog, I am a hopeless romantic that strongly believe in the power of love and happiness! My second written book entitled, “10 Commandments of Love” will be out April 29, 2010 It is a book of short stories written in the mother’s wit/Dry comedy genre. Things your mother and grandmother told you but you forget to listen to.
My first written book is a mainstream Romance novel. I am looking for a agent to market it. I am also working between books three and four at the moment. I write romantic stories that deal with the tribulations and triumphs encountered in relationships, the boy meets girl kind, happily ever after stories. Being an avid reader with a soft spot for my characters believing in true love, I create characters who fulfill the personification of that belief.
Visit my blog often to find out the latest updates on the pursuit of bringing my publishing dreams to life. You can also find the latest writing tips that have helped me through the storm.